"What do you want?"

Following an interview on the Oprah Winfrey Show with Jeff Weiner, CEO of LinkedIn, Oprah opened the floor for questions from audience members. Among the questions posed, an audience member asked “What do you want?” In reading the write up on the interview, I began to think, “Wow is that a loaded question!” It has so many implications. He could think through the physical, social, emotional, spiritual, and supernatural realms in which he exists one by one. He could consider his lifestyle, his goals as an executive professional, even through his familial roles.

After my head went racing around in circles attempting to succinctly answer the question, I found myself at the sad conclusion that I didn’t have one. Sure, I had some overarching goals, namely to continue to grow and learn, to create something that immortalizes me and my core values, to live a life oblivious of days of the week called "payday" and "someday," to wintess improved health for my family members, to exist a world free of violence and pollution, and so forth. As I wrote out the lists of vague things I wanted and accomplishments I looked forward to experiencing, I began to reassess my values and how I was or wasn’t acting on them. I began to place a lot of judgment on myself and reflect on my recent progress or lack thereof in all facets of my life. It was clear that I had work to do, but I was encouraged when I realized just how fortunate I am that all of my basic needs are met.

Regular people don't ask themselves this question often enough; or at least I don't. Using a Venn diagram I found years ago posted on instagram, I decided to face the answer(s) to this question, and myself, head on.

I immediately discovered that I didn't know enough about myself and that's a weird head space to breach. There's no turning back after crossing that threshold. It leaves you with two choices: 1. BUCKLE UP or 2. BALL UP. In full candor, I chose the latter for a few days. I was intimidated by this unknown process of beginning the most important work of my life; the soul work on myself. I asked myself what I could do to make the lives of those area me better, working hard to bring them joy and happiness, too exhausted in the end to seek it out for myself most days. I don't have any children of my own yet (not to dismiss my beautiful Goddaughter and one surprise baking away in my best friend's uterus until the end of July/early August), I'm the youngest of my siblings (having benefited from witnessing my older sibs’ failures, successes, and many of their struggles), and I don't have any mental or physical setbacks. I don't have any excuses to justify living a life short of spectacular in my mid-twenties and beyond. I snapped out of fear, uncovered my insecurities, celebrated my strengths, and though still intimidated, began my process.

It all began with writing, instinctively. I would journal before bed to digest and process my day, play back moments where I was proud of my choices, work through some ideas, or simply scribble what I felt most grateful for. These were my free therapy sessions. I haven't been consistent with my journaling, yet I know writing is at the heart of my purpose, so, at the risk of having to hold myself accountable to people I don't yet know, I am boldly sharing that I want to write these blog entries and publish novels in the hopes that it will inspire everyone who reads my words to begin their process of self discovery and finding their life's purpose. I hope that the experience is so transformative that you have a burning desire to set an appointment with your new therapists (pen and paper) on a daily, even twice daily basis. Writing has revealed my true heart and I'm laying it to bear here, vulnerable to any and everyone's critical eyes.

To really answer the root of the question I'll add, I want to live a purpose-driven life where I continue to nurture my passion for writing, where my professional expertise as a Librarian and Educator support my well-being and those I work in service of, where my mission to positively engage with my communities is integrated into all that I do, and where my vocation is a byproduct of all of these things.

Now, it's your turn to answer the question. I don't expect you to know immediately. The point of the exercise is to deep dive into your own life and visualize what your life would look like in your ideal world. Let me know what that looks like in the comments below.

Thanks for reading.

#inauguralpost #purpose #passion #mission #profession #vocation