Get Cilley
- The Thoughtful Baker
- Oct 3, 2018
- 7 min read
Updated: Oct 3, 2018
In the summer of 2008, I attended an upward bound, college-prep program at Phillips Exeter Academy (PEA) in Exeter, New Hampshire. I was flipping through my shoe box of old family photos and cards when I found some of my memorabilia, notes, and a picture from that summer. It's funny to think about the growth I experienced during my time there, just over ten years ago. This was the summer before my senior year of high school and my first time venturing north of Colorado. I remember being nervous about making friends, though I knew one person already; a girl from my high school in my graduating class. I was sad I was missing Volleyball tryouts at my high school and felt like it could've been my year to dominate in a sport I'd never played. I was worried I didn't pack enough clothes to survive the summer (which I didn't, so I washed #laundry in my dorm's basement and bought clean tops and undies at the nearby drug store a few times while there). I was concerned about being away from my family for more than a month. Though I was excited to meet people from all over the globe at this prestigious boarding school for the intelligent and/or wealthy, I felt the weight of my duty to be a positive representation of black girls for people who lacked the exposure as soon as I arrived to the campus.
I'd completed three other programs the summers before through the Rotary Club in Durango/Silverton, CO with Deer Hill Expeditions (my first time flying and camping... more to come on this experience in a later post), in Sewanee, TN with the University of the South, and in Chapel Hill, NC with the University of North Carolina. These were amazing experiences, but none prepared me for college like PEA did. The campus was a miniature college, just as grandiose as any ivy league institution with art installations inside of their science and math buildings, dorms with 'laxed curfews (yep, talk about a teenage culture shock), a beautiful library complete with an annex filled with obscure texts and film below, multiple auditoriums and art studios, eateries everywhere, a bell tower, cafeterias with chefs cooking up major cuisine and specialty desserts; things to the likes of which I'd never seen outside of actual college campuses. All of these amazing amenities designed for pubescent minds in a small, insulated, predominately white town. Though I felt somewhat sheltered there, it was an open campus with badge access, it was a new normal I hesitantly settled into.
I still remember so many people's names and faces so vividly. There was Alejandro, the late bloomer/son of a Colombian politician with the cute dimples who held his belly when he laughed. Spozmi, the girl with the mature sense of humor who spoke her mind, but was always so sweet. Kurt, whom my cluster of friends and I obnoxiously addressed as "Mmmmm, Burt?!" around the campus. Amna, the smiling hijabi who always had a deep understanding about any and everything. Alex, the Jewish-born, Buddhist guy with refreshing, radical ideas. Sophie Rose, the girl who seemed to be on the same shower/bathroom break schedule as I was all summer. Barkin, the Turkish hottie with a prematurely receding hair line and abs of steel! Angel, the soft-spoken girl who was cruelly referred to as a FOB, I term was abruptly introduced to that summer by a girl I'd befriended and hoped would've been more empathic as a Nicaraguan, Vietnamese American. George (aka Jorge), a handsome, southern gentleman who committed to an additional year of high school in order to meet PEA's registration criteria. Primo, who gave THE best hugs and had a gift for making the best of any situation with his optimistic point of view.
And there was also Christos... code-name Dominique. He was my major summer crush and heated, debate class rival. Even though he was much shorter than I am (something I'd never go for until him... *insert googly eyes* lol), this Greek, half-bred-son-of-Zeus was so chiseled (years of soccer can do that for you) and spoke like a foreign dignitary with a slight air of arrogance. He was so passionate, confident, and classically handsome. I crack up anytime I think about him and the note I stuffed in his pocket as I hugged him before he boarded the bus shuttling him to the airport at the end of the summer. It was the gushy love note of all teenage love notes. It was so innocent and so teeny bop, Molly Ringwald in Sixteen Candles of me (if only I had a copy to share!). It's hilarious that the only picture I have of him is a newspaper article with only his arm locked in an embrace with his teammate. Pictures wouldn't have even done him justice, because the thing that stuck me most about this 3 inches shorter guy was his character.
When I began making friends, which happened almost immediately, I was sure these were friendships that would last a lifetime. In one case, the one that truly did matter most, it definitely will. I met my ABSOLUTE best friend in the entire world at PEA. We both traveled what felt like a world away just to meet someone who lived within 20 minutes of each other in our hometown of Memphis, TN. She'll be the first to admit that initially, she was not too fond of my super outgoing personality and hyper-positive energy. She later told me that I was #toomuch for her at first. Coincidentally, she roomed with the girl from my high school and that connection helped bridge the gap for us. A year later we moved into our freshman dorm at Vandy as roommates and we've been inseparable since. She's #myperson (shout-out to all of the Grey's Anatomy Stans), my platonic soulmate, and the mother of my beautiful Goddaughter.
Just like any classic teen movie experience, on the last night of our summer experience there was a dance in one of the enormous gymnasiums. Most girls dressed up in pretty dresses and guys in button downs or crispy polo's, but jeans and t-shirts were totally accepted too. While I spent most of the night dancing with my posse of girl friends, I was trying to spot Christos and make him wish he was dancing with me instead... LOL. Can we say #obsessed? I blame the hormonal changes from puberty. I was silly with infatuation over this boy with a sad excuse for a boyfriend back home in Memphis.
I recall an "Aha!" moment when the DJ played Soulja Boy's "Get Silly" and all of my dormmates and I got so crunk in the middle of the gym. I remember thinking, "Wow, this will always be our song" and feeling a tinge of sadness. I drifted out of the present moment and thought ahead to my plane ride home the next day and how that night would be the last time all of us, from our distance corners of the world, would ever be together as a whole. It was overwhelming and robbed me of some of my fun during the dance.
I remember my tearful walk back to Cilley Hall later that night. By the time I reached the front door, I was a hot mess. Thank goodness I wasn't wearing makeup because I would've given off full on Beyonce from the "Why don't you love me" video with the runny mascara, only a lot more tragic. My face was flush and soppy and my chest was rising and falling so rapidly that I was nearly inconsolable. Mr. and Mrs. Hinrichsen, my dorm parents/Resident Advisors, were in the front room and both met me with a group hug that offered the comfort I needed in that moment. They were professors at with the boarding school, living in a full sized apartment on the 4th floor. I imagine they had years of experience with the onset of what I can only refer to as separation anxiety. Mrs. Hinrichsen reminded of one of my favorite Dr. Seuss quotes:
"Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened." - Dr. Seuss
All of the girls met in the great room of the dorm to complete a final activity where we decorated brown sacks with our full names, phone numbers and email addresses on the back, then wrote notes to one another and dropped them in the person's bag to read on their plane rides and drives home. The messages were so meaningful to me that I kept them all in my time capsule of a shoebox. Some of the messages were so heartfelt and funny and insightful. It's amazing how much of an impact people can have on your life in under two months. These girls, other kids, and professors across the campus are a major part of my life's journey. I loved my Introduction to Women's Studies course where I discovered my inner Sociologist and proud Feminist. Thanks to this course, I read the following quote and decided to write Christos' love note: "Well behaved women seldom make history." - Laurel Thatcher Ulrich. I'm sure it's not what she had in mind, but oh well... I really regret not keeping up with many of my friends after that summer outside of sending a Facebook friend request and messaging with a handful of people here and there years ago. Social media has allowed me to glance into so many of their lives; I've enjoyed seeing them settling into different phases of their lives in different parts of the world.
Summer 2008 was my first taste of freedom, especially during our weekend trips to surrounding cities like Boston and Manchester. Though I definitely don't feel I can call myself a true #Exonian like their notable alumni (Roxane Gay, Mark Zuckerberg, Jeff Ma, and Suzy Welch to name a few), I am so happy I took the time to join in on one of my hall's unofficial traditions where former residents sign and scribble messages on the wood underneath the dorm's desk. I have no idea what I wrote under that desk, I only remember "borrowing" a sharpie from the library (which I had every intention of returning, but forgot about), eating a whole container of Oreo's, and writing my version of "words of wisdom" for the next girl/boy who'd come to call Cilley Hall, Room 307, their temporary home and would somehow be inclined to look underneath the desk someday.
Check out these photos for a glimpse into my experiences at PEA:
I did reunite with a PEA buddy and Cilley Hall dormmate, Kivilcim, on a random street corner in Baltimore, MD when she was an student and I was intern with Johns Hopkins. We were both in utter shock! LOL. Kivilcim is a sweetheart to her core with a beautiful singing voice, so I remembered her name and face immediately on my walk to Chipotle. It was wonderful catching up after our PEA experience, five years later in a chance meeting. Here's a picture:
If by some chance you attended PEA Summer Session 2008 and resided in Cilley Hall, please email me at thoughtfuldozen@gmail.com with your pictures and messages! I'd love to see and read them.
Thanks for reading.
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