Fail Forward

I was speaking with someone the other day about how essential failure is to success. I know we've all seen the stats on how the most successful people throughout history have the most intimate relationships with failure. Most notably, Thomas Edison who supposedly failed something like a gillion (yes, weirdly enough, this is a word) times before inventing the incandescent light bulb. Can you imagine the temptation to give way to doubt or the pressure from his "logical" friends, family, advisors, and business partners to abandon the notion? Entrepreneurs know this struggle and how uncertain it feels when navigating uncharted. Even if you're following an established business model, it can be almost terrifying to embark on an independent journey.

It's also worth mentioning that successful people work their way up to big successes. Oprah didn't become the successful woman we all know overnight. She had to build momentum. She had to fail miserably on more than a dozen occasions while on her path to the here and now. Oprah has known failure and so has every notable and revered person in history.

In my own life, one of the most difficult failures I experience was failing Chemistry during my Freshman year of college. I was hopelessly optimistic and super involved in everything on campus, a dangerous combination. My Freshman year was a huge adjustment period for me and I wasn’t nearly as focused as I should‘ve been. I was a member of multiple clubs, a gospel choir, a liturgical dance group, volunteered, and attended all catered events on campus to score as many free meals as possible.

I was eager to make a mark on campus and neglected to make effort to make the grades I needed. I’d barely passed the first exam and completely bombed the second one. Feeling discouraged and in need of a pep talk, I called my mom. In my most pitiful voice, I told her about how terribly I was performing in the class, how hard it was because ”I just [wasn‘t] getting it,” and that I’d decided to just drop the class since I had no hope of passing at this point. Ignoring the pout in my voice, my mom urged me to remain in the course and repeat it during my summer break at a local college in my hometown of Memphis to replace the failing grade on my transcript. Not what I wanted to hear. I was looking forward to withdrawing, sleeping in a few days a week and not having to read encrypted chapters of the Chem textbook the next week.

My mom was advising me to fail forward (I’m sure she may have read the book entitled just that). At that point, the university would receive a payment for my enrollment from my scholarship and what would I have in return if I’d dropped the class? I am so grateful I listened to her logic and continued to “audit” the course. The pressure was off of my shoulders. I took exams with a sense of comfort knowing that I could take risks and think through responses without the fear of failure looming over my head. Failing forward is acknowledging the failure, owning up to your missteps that led you to this place, and anticipating another go at it with the benefit of your experiences.

Failing Chem wasn’t the last of my heartbreaks, but it is the one from which I draw the most courage and empowerment. I was a terrified, premed student with plans to become an Anesthesiologist who bombed out of Chemistry due to a warped of school-social life balance and fear of failure. I felt the pressure to be successful in all areas of my life. I lacked confidence. I was fueled by financial insecurity and chose a career I felt would eradicate those woes for my family for generations to come. This failure catapulted me closer to the person I hadn‘t considered, a happy woman who operated in faith, not fear. I wouldn’t have even considered library science, health informatics, or research had I not experienced this failure.

One of the things not readily discussed is the accompanying shame that comes with some failures. A failed business venture, class, or relationship (especially a marriage) can be shameful. No one likes to appear incompetent or inexperienced, but truthfully speaking, that may be the case. The failure is meant to be our teacher. Though abrasive and undesirable, it uncovers our flaws, forcing us to address them before we can secure the success we so desperately long for. A failed business shouldn't result in you throwing in the towel. I should motivate you to critically analyze your business plan and operations. Maybe you weren‘t able to make enough profit to sustain your business because of friends and family discount, poor management, even the overhead costs of leasing a grand storefront. Maybe you failed the class because you misinterpreted the mantra “Work hard, play harder” and forgot that work comes before play (ouch. That one was for me). I tend to stir clear of relationship advice because it can be a huge point of contingency for so many people, but be honest with yourself. What could you have done differently in your last relationship to avoid calling it quits? If the answer is “Not entered said relationship,” then count it all joy. You lived to tell the story and hopefully won’t find yourself in that predicament again.

No matter where you are in life, you’re not done with failure yet. It’s a fact of life. Take responsibility for your shortcomings to get to your big wins. Success is the ultimate goal. I’m not sure if you’re a graduating, high school senior or a working professional with 20+ years of experience in your career or a budding entrepreneur, but this message applies to all of us. It’s the part of the human experience our parents don’t talk about because we lack the appropriate vocabulary to articulate how significant it is. Nonetheless, fear not, failure is not the enemy; your next victory is looming right around the corner.

When’s the last time you failed? Did you think through ways to fail forward? Tell us all about it in the comment section below.

Thanks for reading.

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